Rewards

Has it almost been a month since I posted last. Yep it has. To say I'm bust is an understatement. From work, to household chores to deconstructing my kitchen for the upcoming remodel, to doing Door Dash, life is quickly passing me by. To add to the chaos, my wife and I have had a sinus issue the past couple of weeks. I blame all the flowers and trees on that one as we are in full bloom here in East TN. Allergies morphed into a full blown sinus infection and cough and lethargy and well, you have probably experienced the rest. Speaking of rest, that's what we have done for the past two weeks is rest, putting pretty much everything on hold. Now that I am feeling better, the back log of projects and responsibilities is huge. One day at a time right.

I used to shut down at the prospect of such a daunting schedule. I used to curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb if more than two things came into my wheelhouse. I can only process or do one thing at a time, I'm a touch ADD that way. The reason I state this, is because Jesus changed the way I perceive and deal with tasks. They used to be monsters that wanted to do me harm and humiliate me if I couldn't get them done right or fast enough. Now as they come at me, I don't project my identity on them. Example: If a father/husband is known for fixing cars and he's comfortable doing that but he's terrible at plumbing then his identity is in fixing cars because it brings rewards with it. It bring accolades and praises and love from those you help. However, if he fixes a toilet and screws it up the first go around, then he hears the backlash and comments. He doesn't find a reward in plumbing so plumbing projects get dismissed, looked over and undone because the reward isn't there. 

Don't we all seek a reward system. Kids are introduced quickly to this as they are continuously given reward for good behavior. We think as adults, that we don't stoop to those childish ways but those childish ways have morphed into adult attitudes and character. Would any of us stay at a job if the reward didn't outweigh the pain of it. I stayed at a job I hated for 23 years because the reward was greater than what was elsewhere. So, back to the husband. How do we get him to plumb the toilet for us. His attitude of reward needs to shift from a reward paradigm to a love paradigm. He seeks jobs that reward him with self love. If he fixes a car, people may pay him, monetary reward, people may give him accolades around work or school or throughout the neighborhood, that's emotional reward. All the rewards add up to an identity. He thinks people only love him if he's working on cars but not if he's plumbing. His identity is in what he can do.

It's no wonder we project our need for approval onto God. From childhood we see, good behavior brings good rewards, regardless if the reward is physical, monetarily or emotional. So, with God we think He operates in the same ways. We do good, he rewards us. However, that is the furthest from the truth. Can we say that God is love and in Him is nothing that is human nature? Yes we can, and if we truly understand what love is, then we can understand that our performance isn't reflective of His affections towards us.

We cannot go around thinking He is displeased with us because our performance today was subpar. He loves the man when he works on cars but He doesn't like him when he does plumbing. To read that statement out loud is ridiculous but apply that premise to our entire lives. If we go to church or read our Bible everyday or pray or do good deeds or tithe, then and only then is God pleased with us. It's where we get all the stupid laws. Do this and not that and God will be happy with you and bless you. If we believe in this then we take away the sacrifice of the cross and we blaze a trail of righteousness by ourselves. We cannot come to God through works and works will not maintain your relationship. Works comes as you are changed by the Spirit. The consequence of the Spirit in you is transformation and good works which aren't derived from self but from Him.

This leaves us out of the equation and leaves all the glory for Him. I may have had the inclination, OK my mind did go to this reward system while I've been away from writing and so busy. I may have fallen into the rut of thinking God is displeased because I haven't spent much time with him. And like our kids who refuse to tell us why they did wrong or tell us the truth even when we know the truth, my mind refused to just say here I am Lord. Instead, I've avoided and done the runaround trying to avoid the displeasure of His scowl. You ever been more upset at a child because they lied or skirted around telling you the truth, instead of being mad at what they actually did. From the child's perspective though, the act of being disobedient is much worse in their eyes than lying about it. 

So, we all fail in our own eyes. It is our eyes that judge more harshly than those over us. We cannot pursue the constant comfort of the things we know and are good at, but we must also pursue those things that are hard and limit our reward. For our reward is Him. It's not performance or lack of. We are not measured by the failures or successes of life but we are measured by the love of God. Seek not our own understanding but seek Him. 

Identify as a cleansed Son of God, flawless, beautiful, clean and without spot or wrinkle. Don't see yourself and grade yourself under the good and bad quota system but see that you are washed white and righteous. For in Him we are all without blemishes.

To God be the Glory!