Tons to Talk About

My last blog was back in September of 2025 and here it's April 8th of 2026. Good grief time flies. I've really not felt like writing much. I usually write when I need to express my feelings or work through something but things have been pretty calm other than the 4 jobs I've went through in a year's time and am currently without a job now.

I think I attempted to write but I deleted it. I do that, delete my writing because I feel as though, what's the point. Then I get frustrated and delete it. Currently I'm fighting the urge to do that now. However, i need to do this for my sake.

I've hit a wall, but let me catch you up. I got a job back in September at a Chapel taking wedding pictures. That kept me busy so through the holidays. After, in mid January, I got fired. The narcissist boss didn't like my way of doing things and he felt threatened I guess. Anyway, water under the bridge. After that I spiraled a bit trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. Then it hit both my wife and I. What if we finally travel full time! We'd been looking for a camper for a couple years and had been back and forth on what to do and we landed on a camper van. Not a pre-built one but an empty one we will build ourselves. 

We will be full time on the road starting in October 2026, just 6 months away. Before that May 1st we are headed out west for two weeks to do a test run. Income while traveling? We are trying our hand at social media and earning a living as content creators. You heard me right. Yeah I'm shocked too. 

We are in our 50s,  trying to build from scratch, social media pages and channels and that's where my anxiety has hit hard.

I love being behind the lens, not in front of it but eventually I need to be comfortable in front of a camera, talking to an audience, editing and publishing my videos. My real issue, i don't like mediocre stuff. When I do something, I want it to look professional and polished. I hate the learning curve. I tend to be a perfectionist when I do things. I don't attempt something unless I have a good grasp of how I'm going to do it. This social media content creator stuff has me doubting myself again. 

It's a new day and a new experience and I won't grow unless I'm taken out of my comfort zone, right? Right! 

I can't stop thinking about our year trip. Her and I both have said, can't wait to get the two week trip out of the way so we can focus on this trip. 

I am up at 4am because my mind can't stop planning it out. Speaking of which, wanna hear some of my plans. Great!

We are leaving around the first of October, probably on the 3rd, which is a Saturday. My thought was to go to the spot where I proposed to her in the Smoky Mountains, it used to be Clingmans Dome, now called Kuwohi. It's the highest peak in the Smokies. I proposed to her on August 22, 1994 so it would be 32 plus years. From the parking lot, it's a mile hike to the top. Thought we'd get a good cry in as we say goodbye to home for a year.

Next, the Blue Ridge Parkway, another nostalgic trip. Our van life started in September 2021 when we took our first van conversion up the BRP for a week. I took out all the back seats in our Honda Odyssey, built a bed platform and off we went. It was the trial run for our last two week west trip in September of 2022. So I thought it only fitting to do the BRP as our starting point. It goes from Cherokee NC to the end near Waynesboro VA. We'll continue into Shenandoah National Park on Skyline Drive. Both roads are connected at the same point over I-64 in VA. Back when we did this trip in 2022, we didn't finish Skyline all the way to the north terminus, so this time we will. It ends in a town called Front Royal. From there to Richmond VA, on to the Outer Banks of NC, and down the coast to to visit family in Florida. Key West is on the list after visiting family, then up the west coast of FL into the panhandle. Another family visit there, then back home to TN for the Christmas, New Year's holidays. Back on the road on New Year's day to pick up where we left off along the gulf coast. Head west along the coast until we hit the Pacific Ocean in California. I was born in Santa Barbara California and I've always wanted to go back and see it. We'll hug the coast all the way up to the Canadian border, then go across the northern states east to the great lakes. Visit family in Ohio and the on towards Niagara. Now, we might go up into Canada to go above Lake Erie from Detroit to Toronto. Not sure yet but would love to try it. Come back into the US at Niagara Falls and continue up towards Maine. Then back down the east coast towards TN again. 

Timing looks like this: Oct leave home, work our way up BRP and Skyline Drive and Richmond within October. During November, make our way down the coast to Florida with Key West around Dec 1st. Be in the panhandle just before Christmas. Home for the holidays then gulf coast towards Texas in January and February. Southwest states in early March, April up the west coast arriving in the northwest in May. Travel east to great lakes in June and July. August in Canada and Niagara area. September in Maine then work our way home by October. 

After a year, not sure where we'll be. Maybe continue the AdVANture or not but if we don’t do this while we can, we'll regret it. 

I'm nervous, I'm excited and I'm ready to go.

We'll see how it all turns out.

Fasting

 

So wow, it's been a few months since my last entry and a lot has happened in my life. Firstly, I got a new job as a photographer for a wedding chapel. It's a friend's business and because of my posts on social media, they asked me to apply. So, now I see and photograph weddings, almost every day. Which is pretty cool. Hopefully I can get to a point of mastery with this new challenge. Oh, by the way, the above picture of the perched hummingbird is my first ever capturing one. I have some of it mid flight as well so I may use it in the next post. 

Well, lets dive into it shall we. Current situation, I'm on an extended fast right now. As of writing this I haven't eaten in four days. My goal is at least five, maybe more but I'm leaning towards five. Just don't want to push it too much. Why am I doing this. Mainly to reset my unhealthy habits in eating and lose weight, the other is too seek God more. Of course, learning more makes me realize the self involved aspect, mixed with spiritual truth makes me a mixture which God doesn't like. I should do another fast next month just for Him and not me but I don't know how to separate body from spirit as well as I should. In other words, if I go on another fast just for God, in the back of my mind will always be the physical aspect of the fast.

Let me elaborate on that physical aspect. If you've never fasted for more than a day, then let me bring you along the journey. One, food is more than a fuel to sustain our bodies. It is an entrenched psychological force that subconsciously dictates our daily lives. What do I mean by that. Every social event usually involves planning around food, like birthdays, gatherings, family social interactions, sitting down to watch movies or TV. Think about it on a daily timeline. You wake up and for most, you want something to eat for breakfast. So our day starts out with food. Do we prepare something or pick something up along our commute to work or school? Do we involve those we work with like a box of donuts for the office perhaps. Your day begins with thinking of food choices. After that it's almost an immediate conversation of, what's for lunch. Plans are made at work, school or with friends, restaurants chosen, delivery, packed lunch or other plans but right after breakfast, we talk and make plans for lunch. Snacks in between while we wait is often common too. After work or school, we dive right into the selection of dinner. Home, another eating out with friends or family, how about a BBQ in the back yard or food at a sports event with friends. Our entire day revolves around food pretty much from our first minute awake to our last minute awake each day. It's not only the hungry feeling but it's the pleasure of food, which in my opinion is engineered by food companies, to make us feel happy and tie that happiness to social interactions. Say you go out with friends to a restaurant for someone's special day. You go to celebrate that someone but psychologically, your mind ties food in with that fun time with friends and we grow up from birth attaching food to fun times. It's a double douse of dopamine. 

So our society has coupled food and fun together and that cycle is hard to break. When you fast, you get past the hunger pains as your body adapts from food fuel to fat fuel but what is harder to get over is the trauma of not eating while interacting with daily tasks. For instance, for dinner my wife and I usually sit in the living room and watch TV while we eat. So, like last night, I started to not want to watch TV because of the lack of food. I didn't have the craving to watch TV because it felt somewhat empty without a plate of food in my hands while I watched. It is that symbiotic relationship we have built between food and daily tasks that requires more than just physical preparations. There's two barriers to overcome with fasting. Most think it's the physical but for me it is much harder to overcome the mental issues fasting brings with it. 

In time though the desires for food in both realms fades away and in my opinion, is where the long fast truly begins. When you reach the day when food no longer has a grip on you physically and mentally, then you've reached a new beginning. Some call it moments of clarity. People that meditate try to attain this and many others try but you must remove yourself from the voice that calls to you many time per day. Once we remove ourselves from the addiction of food, we can then focus on other things. It's no different than a drug addict. They use to get away from the hurts in life and food can be used in the same way. We all have a little bit of a food addiction. Some more than others but we all tie food to either a good memory or a bad one and we eat to self medicate. When we fast, our crutch is taken away. It's so much more than just not eating in my experience. which, I have much. This will be my fourth fast over four days in my lifetime. My longest was seven and it was tough. This one seems to be going smoothly so far. 

Should you consult a doctor before you fast, I never have. I just pay attention to my body. If something doesn't feel right, I go back to eating. Now, I've learned of this fatal thing called refeeding syndrome where people fast for long periods then eat too much when they finish and the body goes into a state of stress that can cause death in some cases. That is terrible and must be avoided. I think if you are truly thinking of fasting or this has intrigued you at all, then do the research into the benefits of fasting and the cautions surrounding it as well. The reason I do it, and will probably do it more often is the physical benefits of it. 

Enough about the fast. What about God through this whole thing. Like taking away addictive food patterns, we also must take away addictive spiritual patterns. How? By fasting from any and all outward influences that tell you who, what and how to worship God. There's a buffet of God stuff in our American diet and most is pure junk food. Like our American diet, full of junk, our churches feed us mostly junk. Why would someone build a huge infrastructure, pipe in water from miles away when you have a natural spring in your back yard. Doesn't make sense but that is what we do. Much like our food addictions we are addicted to church and what it brings. It gives us that sense of good in our lives. We see and hear good, we interact with others we enjoy mostly and we leave refreshed. Why do we do this? Our source of living water is in us, so why do we go to the well miles away to draw water from a contaminated source. It makes no sense what so ever. God is within us and longs for a true and faithful relationship with us. However, some or most don't believe they are worthy of God's time. Well that's wrong because His Son paved the way for us to enjoy fellowship with the Father. It was the whole purpose of Jesus, to reconcile us back to God. 

We feed on so much crap from multiple sources now that our understanding of truth is so messed up we can't tell truth from a lie. Much like our food addictions, we are addicted to what tastes good and sounds good rather than what is healthy and right for you. My fast is to reset my addictive behaviors with food. Our fast from outside sources, when it comes to God, should also be turned off. The voices clamoring for you ear need to be shut off so the truth, God's voice, can be heard. Like food, it is tough to shut off all those preconceived ideas of God and how He operates in our lives. It likely will take a lot longer than a food fast but well worth it. I believe Jesus fasted for forty days, and I think it was a reset of sorts. He washed away the other voices so He could listen to just one voice. The devil being the other voice can also be interpreted as the selfish voice and the voice of others and we need to do the same. 

My next fast will probably be shutting all sources of influence off. Which means, social media, radio, preaching, church and anything that can influence my connection with God. That also goes for my own voice. Faith must arise and external and internal influences must be silenced if a deeper relationship is to occur. Paul put it this way, dying to self daily. I must stand aside, outside influences must be pushed aside in order for relationship to flourish. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

To God Be The Glory In All.        

Dept and Love

Have you ever heard of digging yourself into a hole. I'm sure we all have. Like spending more than you earn. You get credit cards, max them out and then you have this massive dept that you can't possibly pay off, hence bankruptcies. However, the job or your pay isn't the problem, it's your spending habits. 

With God, we also pile up spiritual dept (sin) and have no way of getting out. No matter how we try, our dept to income ratio is way too high and can never be overcome by our attempts, hence Jesus. Jesus is like filing chapter 11 bankruptcy. Our dept is wiped clean and we have a whole new lean on life. Now if I was hundreds or even millions of dollars in dept, my house was being foreclosed on, my cars taken away and I was actually going to go to jail over my dept, wouldn't I be forever grateful if someone wiped away my dept with no strings attached. Wouldn't I want to be close to them, learn from them, help them and love them forever. Yes I would but in God's case, why do we not see the value of our salvation. Do we even want to live for Him.

We continually place value on all things. It's in our nature. We see the value of something, as again, a return on investment (ROI). If you put into something, what do you get out of it. Simple. However, with God, our ROI isn't seen, it hasn't been revealed. It's like a savings account you have no access to. At your acceptance of Jesus as your savior, an account opened up. We will be judged at the end on how much our account has in it but we have no access to it to see how well we are doing. 

Confusing, I know. Faith clears your dept and opens a new account. I used to think I had to keep a list of my good works, kind of like a spreadsheet. I'd do something good, one point for me. I'd do something I knew God didn't like, a ton of points deducted. I kept a tally in my mind of how I was doing and usually I would do poorly and was in dept up to my eyeballs again. I have come to the conclusion that God doesn't work on a merit system.

God works on Love. That's because He is love. Not the lustful love, but the genuine selfless love we all need to come to understand. God didn't send His Son out of pity, remorse, anger or frustration. Instead, He sent Him because He loves. If we had the ability to swoop in and erase all our children's dept and build them a huge house to live in and give them all they needed, would we. Of course, because we love them. Would we let them suffer first though. Yes. Why? Because suffering brings about humility and appreciation when the suffering is removed.

All of humanity could have been saved right after the fall of man. Would we be a people of arrogance or a people of humility if that happened though. Arrogance. To have someone's dept erased and for them to be eternally grateful for it, they must experience the dept. We must experience and truly grasp our desperation, our inability to make things right, our destitution, our complete and utter need for someone to pull us out of the darkness and into the light. 

In order to appreciate good we must know evil. In order to appreciate light we must live in darkness first. I have fasted for seven days before, and believe me, you appreciate food and it's abundance more after that. We must see our situation. We must grasp where we were and where we are going in order to love the one who has changed our situation. 

He loves and therefore we should love because of that. If we relegate God's gift to us, as a transaction of sorts, and we dumb it down to a simple handshake type of transaction, we never realize the tremendous gift of love. We must see the value of His gift. If we don't, our hearts never change. If we do see His gift for its value, that's where change comes in and it isn't change at a transactional level, it's love. 

The whole situation between us and God is this. He loves us, nothing else but that love must let us also see the value of love, hence suffering. If we don't suffer, we cannot appreciate the value of His gift through Jesus. Eyes that suffer see the value of love more than eyes that don't. It's as simple as that. Why is their suffering in the world people ask, to show us the value of love. Without it, love is devalued and it shouldn't be. Love should be exalted above all else, including self. 

If we ask ourselves one thing, it is this, where am I? Perspective of your situation is paramount in appreciating your current situation. If we have faith in Christ Jesus then we must reflect on that humbly. If we take it for granted, we have missed the entire point. Every day we breath and we have faith, that day should be filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and happiness. We cannot let the issues of this physical world overwhelm what we have in the spiritual world. We cannot! We see our terrible situation with friends or family or money or jobs and we compare our current troubles and devalue the gift given to us. We cannot do that. 

If our dept is forgiven, should we be set up in a mansion too or should we be given a tent to live in until we appreciate the immensity of our forgiveness. The tent of course. We are being judged on the amount of appreciation we have which equals out to love towards He that forgave us. God is love and He wants love in return. In fact, He wants to live in us through the type of love He has. We say, your kid is a chip off the old block, because they act just like you. However, do we act just like God after we come to Faith in Jesus. Hardly. We stay in a self absorbed mentality, bickering about anything not going our way. That isn't love for our Savior or our Father.

Seek first the Kingdom, which is God's love, and all will be given to us. If we could just remove ourselves from our physical, Earthly situations and meditate on our spiritual selves, we'll find we are rich and blessed and so loved. So, go sit and empty your worries about your job, your money, your health, and focus on who you are as a spiritual being outside of your body and things. See where you were and where you are now. See yourself before Jesus and yourself now. If there's no change between the two, ask God to open your eyes to His love for you. Once you see, you'll appreciate your situation more and you'll start to love like He does.

To God be the Glory! 

 

For Though Are With Me

 

Bald River Falls Near Tellico Plains TN off the Cherohala Skyway

I fell asleep on the couch tonight, yet again, and woke up around 1am with those words echoing in my mind; "For I am with you," Words taken from Psalm 23:4. However, how many days or times we think, He is against us or far from us. Our minds are programmed from childhood by our parents that disappointment, regret, errors and mistakes cause separation in relationships. Do we see our parents fight and make up or do we see fights, anger, a build up of regrets and bitterness? We see the later mostly. I grew up in a toxic house where bitterness and hate between my parents was an everyday thing. Divorce came and bitterness ruled the two throughout their lives. Instead of working through problems, they dismissed and avoided the root causes and let the issues be unresolved. 

That's why me and my wife turned the corner in our marriage around the ten year mark to fight through the difficulties and find resolution to our issues between each other. The same goes with God, however with Him, He forgives immediately and forgets forever. He looks at us as white as snow and clear of all issues. We however, continue to rehash our issues within ourselves and we never resolve our problems with ourselves.

I firmly believe, if we get real with ourselves, admit our issues and work through them, we would be a better people. Instead, we never ask, what can I do to improve. It's as though most people think, "this is how I am and there's no changing it." I've heard that before but I am proof of change. My marriage is proof of change. Not compromise where we tip toe around each other but true and real understanding of each other and we made every effort to change for one another. How often do we just throw our hands up and say, I am who I am and if you don't like it you can either get over it or leave. We have that mind set of rigidity and stubbornness. We deflect our faults and issues away from us and on to others or blame our surrounding environment or past wrongs done against us. 

Self evaluation in the presence of God is painful and eye opening for the one doing it. Spiritually, coming to God and asking Him to reveal your faults is like being cut open to reveal your insides. It's painful and necessary. However, if we let the great surgeon do His cutting, to get rid of the cancerous growths in us, He will put us back together clean and whole again. 

Men especially have this major issue of self reflection. We tend to crawl into our holes and seal the door behind so no one can see our emotional issues. Why would we? We are supposed to be the head of the house, the rocks, the fortresses. We are supposed to be the person others come to when they are weak not the other way around. So firstly, for guys, we have to get over the macho persona and begin to look inward at our faults.

I had to do this very thing when we counselled ourselves. I had to dredge up root causes for my behavior and deal with the pain of weakness. I had to tell myself I was a piece of crap. By the way, we are all pieces of crap. No one is good and for those that think they are, lie to their selves. That's of course our condition pre-Christ. We are junk, full of problems, daddy issues, mommy issues, trust issues and the list can go on forever. My point however is we are full of issues and that creates our anger, our bitterness, our personality, no matter how toxic it is. Coming to Christ for Him to release us of that stuff is overwhelmingly painful. Our lives, our problems, our roots are shown to us and we must either deal with them or suppress them and never change.

Change comes from dealing with our problems but to deal with our problems we must first see them and admit we have them. Denying we have issues never resolves anything. Like I said before, I had to see myself as a piece of crap, garbage and low. If we roll in the mud and get disgustingly filthy and never wash, how would we look. If we continue to roll in the mud and not shower, the build-up of mud and dirt and filth would build up. Over time the build up becomes so heavy, it weighs us down to the point of no return. 

For He is with me, encourages me. It's like someone rooting for your victory. He's your cheerleader, your coach, your running partner who's right there to help. We can't realize our filth until He points it out. Once He reveals our filth, He gently washes us to remove it but we must be willing to be washed. Sore and infections are cleansed and healed and we are returned to new. Take the imagery of the leper, who is full of sores and rotting flesh. Unable to make contact with others, lepers are shunned and sent away from society. They were sent into colonies to die. However, Jesus healed them. It's a perfect visual representation of our hearts. 

For He is with us! Once we receive the revelation of our filth, we must let Him cleanse us of it. You can be told your filthy and you can let that understanding cause you to spiral into a pit of despair and self hate. The enemy says, "yes you are a disgusting creature and you're not worthy to be fooled with, let alone be forgiven and cleansed." Once revelation hits us that we are dirty, another revelation must take hold and that is, God loves us and He wants us. No matter how dirty we are, He reaches out His hand of love and says, let me wash you clean. For the leper, he's been told not to touch anyone his whole life, yet it takes trust in Christ for Him to touch you and heal you. Don't draw away but draw closer. The closer you get, the cleaner you become.

So, my whole goal for this entry is this. Know that He is for you, not against you. If you feel unworthy, lay in His lap and let Him hold you. If you feel dirty, admit you're dirty and move closer to Him so He can wash you. If you feel alone and lost, know He is walking right next to you. 

Thank Him, Praise Him and Most of all, trust Him. For He is for us and not against us. He leads us and guides us. For He is with us! Go through the process of self awareness, revelation of the filth, confession of it, and the willingness to be washed of it. It is a painful but necessary process in our walk with Him.

To God be the Glory!

   

 

Let the Blind See

Taken at the Morton Overlook in the Smoky Mountain National Park

 

I've waken up at 3:30am again. Not sure if it's a consistent bladder thing or God wanting time together. I'd like to say God wants some quality time but I usually hear very little from Him. Recently, I've been wondering about the end of all this; the second coming of Christ. I have reservations about the process or the popular rapture theory as I've written before. As I have been watching "The Chosen" series, Season 5 especially, which leads up to the Garden of Gethsemane, it makes me think of how set we are, like they were, in tradition. I mean, they were so set on tradition they had a man who performed multiple public signs and wonders right in front of them yet they denied who He was and crucified Him. To be honest, I don't get that. Did God blind them or were they so blind already with how they thought the Messiah would be, when He showed up and didn't fit their mold, they killed Him.

It makes me think of our situation today. Who has ever been to a church that is so steeped in tradition that if Jesus walked through their door, they'd not recognize Him? I have and it is scary how we cling to tradition and preconceived notions of how things are going to unfold. Most Baptist churches subscribe to the rapture theory. If Jesus Himself walked into one of them and said you've got it all wrong, they'd run Him out just like they did in His home town of Nazareth and if stoning was a thing, well they'd do that too. 

Religion is powerful and full of human nature! It's the human nature Jesus died to get rid of so we could obtain His nature, yet we cling onto our ideas, our comfort, our way of thinking so much, there's no room for Him and His nature. Therefore, I'm very worried about the end. Am I steeped in "Me" or have I let the Holy Spirit rewrite my way of thinking. If I say, like many would, I love the Lord, I read the Bible, I know scripture, I do many good things and I stand on those things as foundational, I could miss something. When you think you know something definitively, you close yourself up for further understanding. You basically set yourself up to fail. 

I could think, I have faith in Jesus and that will do, or I could say daily prayer keeps me close to Him I am in no need of anything else, again we limit ourselves. I want to say one thing, I don't know it all and I need more. Yet the opposite is true as well, you can spend your whole life seeking, thinking you are missing something, and miss the blessings you already have. If I say I need more and Jesus says I am enough, then why are we searching for more. So I stand in the middle, wanting more of Him yet appreciative of what I have already. Is this the way?

Middle of the road, or the narrow way is the life Jesus spoke of. We are people of extremes. We're like a pendulum, swinging from one extreme to another and never settling for a middle position. We either see in color or black and white, nothing in between. Because of this, I think most will miss Him. Relationship is all about meeting in the middle, finding common ground and building upon it. We could still be under the law right now and we'd still be sacrificing animals to atone for our sins, however, because God saw another way, a better way, He sent His Son to abolish that old system and to establish something new, faith. He met us in the middle. He knew sin was never going to leave us fully, He knew we could never get back to how we were before the Fall, so He met us in the middle and came down to us. We couldn't go up so He came down so we could have access. 

It's early and I may just be rambling this time but I have a genuine concern for all of us, that we don't get it. Change came and it was denied. Change is coming once again and I hope for our sakes we don't deny it again. We're so entrenched in this world we don't see or understand anything about the Kingdom. The church was meant to bring the kingdom to Earth. We were meant to be the light of the world and be Jesus. Instead we eat and drink of the ways of the world instead. It's a tragedy indeed. My heart aches for those that don't see. It aches for me, do I see. I'm not sure but I see enough to know, when He comes back, He won't be happy. 

When a child is told to pick up his room and an hour later you check and a bigger mess is there, how happy are you with them. Not very. So too is our situation. We were told to clean up a mess, not make a bigger one. Religion divides, relationship brings together. Party lines divide, no lines, no division. We divide amongst ourselves, we categorize, we organize, we partition each other until there's no one standing together. Jesus talks about a lion and a lamb laying together, that is unity. When a Jew and a Muslim and a Catholic and a Protestant can love one another, then we have unity. When we no longer see lines we win. When we no longer hate one another for differences, we win. When there are no differences, we win. Love is the way. Can we drop our divisions and our wars and our separation. We'll have to in order for His Kingdom to come. Can we though?

It starts with one person. Me, you, it starts with us. We no longer need to see others as enemies but as loved ones. Our eyes must be opened to see how Jesus saw us. He never saw a prostitute or a tax collector or a sinner, He saw a child of God. He looked past the labels and saw what they are, His. We are all children of God, equal and same. From the murderer to the mom we are all His. If we could only drop the veil of division and see with the eyes of Christ, we'd be in a better place. 

Drop anything that divides and hold onto Him who brings together all in love. I think the hippies had it right, it's all about Love!

Lord, let me see others with your eyes. Let me see myself with your eyes as well as I continually judge and divide myself into good and bad. Let me see me as you see me so I can go out and see others that way too. Let your love spread through me and out to others Lord. Amen

To God be the Glory!

It's all About the Perspective

 

         Can we agree that perspectives change per viewer. For instance, one viewer may see a cloud in the sky and see a dragon, where another may see a giraffe. Each person sees things differently and it's all because each viewer has different life experiences. You can take a person who has lived a hard life of constant abuse, being abused and abusing self and others, then they come to Faith in Jesus and make a huge 180 degree change in their life. They have a story now and those around them see the change and follow suit. Then you have a person who grew up in the church, falls away and runs to a life of self. Perspectives of each person dictated a result. One grew up in need and the other knew no need and each had a different attitude towards faith. One saw it as freedom and the other saw it as prison. Because the one grew up knowing what true pain and hardship was, they ran towards salvation. The other became indifferent and callous from being surrounded by hypocrisy. 

Results varied between the two because of perspectives. Take a teenager versus a toddler as another example. A toddler sees their parents as a source of everything. They see the world around them as scary, intimidating and huge. To them, parents are givers of food, comfort, pleasure, love and more. However, when a teenager starts to have a taste of freedom and independence, they start to turn towards the world as a source of their needs instead of their parents. They see parents as a road block to that freedom and bitterness sets in. Like the person who grew up in church, the child now sees flaws in their parents and they run to the world for their needs. Of course each child's perspectives makes them the adult they become. One could come from a supportive family, one could come from a broken one. Each child's perspective molds their hearts, changes their minds, locks them into patterns of phycological issues.

When it comes to each person on the planet, their are literally as many perspectives as there are people. Even in the same household, each child becomes a different adult than their siblings. One instance in all their lives, say a divorce of their parents, could create bitterness in one child's heart and empathy in another. Age differences, things they've heard, outside opinions and emotional ties are all variables, in an infinite amount, that changes a person's perspectives within their hearts.               

That is why we have division and struggles amongst each other. It's the difference of opinion, which is built on difference of perspective, that creates tension between all of us. If I see one way because of my upbringing and another person sees it the opposite way because of theirs, division is created. A difference of opinions is the only cause for all the worlds problems. One person has an opinion that is completely opposite another person's opinion. They look at each other as potential enemies because of it. They don't talk to each other, they whisper gossip about one another, they sway other's opinions about them and all in the name of having different perspectives.

With the differences among all of us, comes those varying opinions and the need to reinforce our opinions. We love to be right and we love to prove ourselves to everyone else. Hence the social media issues. Everyone wants to promote their opinion 24/7/365 and instead of the lounge at work, we now have the internet as our sounding board. Opinions between coworkers was one thing but now we have the world to argue or agree with. That's why it's my opinion that social media is a bad thing. We just aren't mature enough to handle it.

Speaking of mature, what can we do about all these perspectives creating individual opinions? Nothing really. In an ideal world, we would all have the ideal childhood, the ideal parents and the ideal adulthood. However, because of the cascade of individual perspectives through the centuries, we are left with a complete train wreck of attitudes towards one another. The fragility of our world emotionally is so scary it isn't funny. 

Solution = Work

When you come across someone with a difference of opinion than yours, what's your first reaction. Repulsion and the need to defend your own opinion. Right? To term a Star Trek phrase, your shields go up and you get your phasers and torpedoes ready to fire. You immediately show signs of defense. Why is that? Why are we so entrenched in our opinions that we cannot invite the perspective of others into our hearts. We've seen it through organized religion throughout history and into today. A person of ill reputation come into the church to see for their selves what it is all about and they are met with retribution, anger and hate. Why is it so hard to drop our defenses and learn of others. 

We call it empathy, which the dictionary defines as "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another." Empathy takes something from us. It takes time, it takes change from what we know to what someone else knows. Often times empathy is a one way road. One person can empathize with another but it is rarely reciprocated. To empathize with someone, you learn and explore that persons perspectives without judgement. You just listen and hear. You're never fulfilled but are often burdened with that persons life experiences. True empathy makes one person bare the other person's tragedies and pain. They take on all of their fears and doubts. They see the other person through these things and suddenly, instead of an enemy, they bond as friends. Those that share loss, share bonds. 

This is why we see so many people in defense of their opinions instead of  listening for opportunities of empathy. It takes effort, time, emotion and love. Division is easy, union is hard. Personally, that's why I think God came to Earth in Jesus, to empathize with us, to experience what it's like to be human. He went through life, tragedy, poverty, judgment, pain, loss, grief and death. He immersed Himself in His creation. He loved us enough to change His perspective from a judging Father to a loving Father. 

As God has done, so should we. However, as most of these writings I've done are directed towards me, this one is especially. It is hard to look at someone with empathy and not judgement. What's the old saying, they made their bed now let them lye in it. However, we don't know the whole story and often times their stories are hard to hear. Judgement is so much easier. It takes two seconds to judge, wrongly I might add, and walk away. To stop, show interest and listen is truly a talent I have not achieved yet. 

So in a perfect world, our looks of judgement would be replaced by emphatic love and it would change us one heart at a time and eventually the world. Borders would cease to exist, money would disappear, the opportunity for us to live for each other and not ourselves would take over. Hate, crime, grief and fear would be changed into love. Sound familiar, it's what the Holy Spirit does within us daily. 

Our perspectives changed the moment we said, Jesus I believe in you and they are still changing if we let Him do His work in us. As we have judged others, do we judge God too. Do we throw our opinions and our perspectives in His face and ask that He honor them without us having the slightest empathy for Him. The road goes both ways. I mentioned, empathy rarely flows on a two-way street. One person shares, the other hears yet the sharer is so wrapped up in sharing they usually never hear. In our case with God, we share all our pain when we come to Him in the beginning, we usually never become good listeners though. We continue to share our pain, disappointments and problems but we never sit down and ask God to share Himself with us. 

Jesus wept, He was alone, He needed support in His moments before His trial and death, yet all of His followers fled. Scattered to the wind. See, even they wanted empathy from Jesus but when it was their turn to empathize, they fled in fear. It's often the case but it doesn't have to be. Instead of coming to God in prayer for you, go to Him for Him. Change the script and truly seek Him for Him and not for yourself. If your a parent and your child does something spontaneous for you without provocation, doesn't it melt your heart. Doesn't it fill you with love. So, be spontaneous, go to God in prayer to hear, not to receive but to hear and be surprised.  Again, I'm guilty of not doing this but as these words flowed out of my fingers, I can hear God wanting time with me, without me needing from Him all the time. I just need to listen and change my perspective.

To God be the Glory!   

      

Laying it on the Altar

You may be wondering, photography or God, which is it. You're oscillating back and forth. Well, your right. As my relationship with God oscillates, unfortunately this blog did as well. 

Have you ever had a wilderness experience? I've had several over my years as a Christian and trust me they are no fun. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, it becomes a time of wandering, suffering, disobedience, trials and ultimately, redemption. Some call it a trial of faith or a trial of fire but the process is the same. It's meant to purge the unwanted parts of us out. Like the Israelites, no one over 40 was allowed to enter the promised land. So those that left Egypt, never made it due to their rebellious nature.

This principle is still at work in us today. As we are being changed, called out of Egyptian slavery, which is a type of people not saved, we go through stages of purging. 

The slavery in Egypt is like our slavery to sin before coming to Jesus. Then, like Moses, the Holy Spirit becons us to flee from our sins and slavery and go to the promised land, which is the kingdom of God. Like the Israelites we are required to be full of faith. We no longer get our food or water to feed our desires from Egypt/the world but we are supposed to feed and drink upon Jesus. He said eat and drink of me, this is a reference to the rock bringing forth water or manna appearing on the ground each morning. Jesus is the rock that brings forth a spring of water in us so we thirst no more and He is our food that nourishes us.

However, like the Israelites, we tend to be disobedient and lose sight of the promise. They became dissatisfied and complained. So too did I. I lost sight, became complacent and for it, I've been wandering. 

The distinct difference however between them and us is Jesus. They screwed up, they died, we screw up and the blood is there to cover us. Although, God still wants us to purge out the old life and claim the new so a type of death still takes place. The apostle Paul put it, I die daily. If we are covered, then why do we need or what needs to die? Good question, we have two parts in us. One part is our human nature. Desires of the flesh work in that nature. Lust, greed, and all the bad stuff work in that nature. Then there's God's nature which we receive at the time of our conversion, when we accept Jesus. 

Once we receive Jesus, the Holy Spirit enters us and begins cleaning house. Things we once found desirable, we find repulsive. However, in some cases, God wants us to lay something down of our own volition. Like the offerings of sacrifice, we are to repent or turn away from something that is in our human nature. Which shows our commitment to Him. It's like when Jesus was taken to the wilderness to be tempted. He just received the Holy Spirit and would now be tempted to see if the human nature in Him would respond or if He'd laid it on the altar to be burned.

It's no different with us, trials and temptations are a part of the purging process. We must have our faith tried or it isn't faith. If we go through and come out on the other side, then we have been transformed into a person that has more of the kingdom of God in them. The wilderness is an effective place for reflection and purging. It won't let you go back to Egypt or to the promised land, it is meant for death. The death of the old life so we can walk into the new life.

So, I've been wandering and am now dying to the old. Once the dying is done, I'll walk into the promise. Until then, I die daily.

Photography or God?

Photography was my distraction from death. All Christians must die, spiritually speaking. We all must have the Holy Spirit identify in us, what needs to die. Whether it's a problem with not forgiving or an issue with drinking or any possible issue God finds offensive, it must die.

For me photography was a distraction from what I needed to do. It was my denial. Instead of facing the issue head on, I found a distraction. Mind you, I've not given up photography, it's just not my crutch anymore.

Dieing daily is about denying self, denying that human nature in us all. In the end of self, is God. He's waiting, watching and rooting for us and like Jesus at the end of His temptations, we will be ministered too, uplifted and have a greater relationship with Them.

To God be the Glory!