Awaken

The moment we worry about something, we move from faith to self. It's hard to fathom the small nuances of faith and self. The transition between the two can be so unnoticeable that it goes undetected for days, weeks or months. In my case, a month or more. Faith is how we let God to work. We step aside and let Him do His thing in us but as soon as worry comes, doubt is not far behind and then a full blown melt down is on the way because you've tried to take control. Even someone that has been diving deep lately and seeking can get sidetracked. I think my fatal flaw came when I worried about my time with God and being too busy. When I worried about not spending enough time with Him, it set me up to doubt His love for me. His love is unconditional, not conditional. Whether I seek or not, whether I have time or not He loves me all the same. My mind said, time equals relationship, so no time equals loss of relationship. He doesn't leave when we are busy. He doesn't pout when we don't pay attention to Him. He's not like our partners or friends that demand attention. He wants relationship and it is a good thing but He doesn't turn His back on you when you ignore Him. It's not His nature. We on the other hand, attribute Earthly emotions to Him and create a scenario that never fits who He is. We assume He's mad, vindictive and jealous of how we treat Him. We assume He gets mad at us because that's what our parents did when we screwed up. We attribute our parents behaviour to Him and that isn't Him. God loves us despite our attempts, our mess ups or wrong turns. It's His ability to do this that draws us to Him, but when we doubt that love, we set ourselves up for failure.         Have you ever witnessed a child that raises their voice and says, "I can do it myself?" We all have and the parent steps aside to watch the child fail or succeed. With God we must learn to trust and have faith in Him always. We don't have too much time left to fail, wallow in self pity, then crawl back, then repeat. We and I mean I, must realize my position in God. A Son, bought and paid for by the blood of Christ, raised with Him from the dead into a greater purpose in God. That purpose, to be fully surrendered to Him in love, faith and trust. To never doubt or see myself as anything lower than His son. I can't go on in limbo, I must pursue.                   God bring me deeper in you. Bring me a revelation into how you see me. For everyone reading this too. We cannot do anything worth value without you. For we have not loved like you or have had faith like you but we need those things. I pray we fully understand our position in you. That we come to the end of self and become fully immersed in you. Lord, open our eyes and let us see for the first time.

To God be the Glory!