Remodeling Your Home

Yep, that's my house and yes it's getting a whole new exterior. After nearly fifty years, this old house has seen a lot of remodeling and renovation and right about now your asking, is this a Christian blog or a home remodeling one? Both. 

We all have a story of some kind about a fixer upper project we've tackled at one point in our lives. For me, I've had many. They disrupt and inconvenience your daily life to the point of aggravation and sometimes anger. Yet the results after are usually worth the struggles. Our walk in Jesus is very much like a home remodeling. Let me explain. When we first come to Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit, they need to do some remodeling within our heart. We've gone from a sinful selfish nature to their nature and that transition doesn't happen overnight. In some cases, transformations in certain aspects of people's lives do change right away but the deep issues take time.

The Holy Spirit is like a home inspector and general contractor. Jesus is the architect and foreman and God owns the construction company. When we come to them, the Holy Spirit does an immediate assessment of your heart, the home of your soul. He makes a list of all the things that needs to be redone. Some of the code violations, He'll get to work on immediately. The way He works, He doesn't just slap a coat of paint over mold, He rips it all out and replace it with new.

The blueprint of life is faith, hope and love. Our heart, mind and soul must match those things in order to be a properly built house for God to dwell in. Remember, God wants to dwell among His people again like He did in the Garden of Eden. Because of our sin, we became inhabitable for Him. Then Jesus comes along and basically does like any good contractor would do, He gets the permits to do the construction needed on our house. All we have to do is recognize that we live in a failing home and it needs help, lots of help. 

Once called upon, the Holy Spirit starts ripping out old, to get ready for the new. Rot, mold, holes in the walls, water damage, leaks, electrical issues and outdated designs are all going to be replaced over time. 

I've personally have been under construction for over twenty years now and a lot has changed in this old house. I'm not who I was and I'm not quite who I need to be so the work continues. Speaking of work, did you know you work hand in hand with them to help remodel your house. It's your home, they will not start on any remodeling until you are on board with it. They hand you a list of needed things to be done but you must sign the contract that says it's OK to do the work. Some folks think that home renovations are automatically done and when you sign the initial contract, yes some things get cleaned up right away. Maybe the yard and landscaping is done first, perhaps a coat of paint on the outside. For some, curb appeal, is enough for them. They ignore the deep issues within and choose to have the outside look good. However, like any home, if there's an interior issue, it will compromise the entire structure over time. Those issues, no matter how much the cost, need to be taken care of. God won't dwell in a compromised house, all issues must be dealt with. 

For me, this all hits home, literally. I know I've been speaking metaphorically but the analogy works. We are a house and in our house, there is rot and ruin that needs to be taken care of. When we come to Jesus in faith and accept Him as our savior, we also accept the fact that He's going to point out everything wrong with us through the Holy Spirit. Like home projects, some are easier to repair than others and get done quickly. Then there's those issues deep within that require ripping and cutting and removing of old roting structure that we've lived with for so long. That type of work could take weeks, months or years to fix. It all depends on our willingness to get rid of it.

Ever cleaned out a closet? You pull all the stuff out in an attempt to organize and get rid of all the stuff you've crammed in it over the years. In the end,  nothing gets removed because you can't bring yourself to get rid of that jacket you wore twenty years ago. You hold onto stuff because it brings back memories. The process of cleaning out a closet or remodeling a house is the same as us cleaning out our heart. Without us realizing it though, we hang on to old junk like hate, anger, unforgiveness and more because they are comfortable to us. Construction and remodeling are very uncomfortable and we avoid acknowledging our issues so we can avoid getting rid of them. Our construction team will not work unless we let them. They are there to show us what needs to be fixed and we must say yes in order for the work to be done. 

We could spend a long time in this but the gist of it is this. Do not hesitate to ask for the Holy Spirit to do an assessment on your home. Let Him point out your issues to you. Then work with Him to tear out the rot and replace it with new. Trust me it's a painful process but so worth it in the end. The end will definitely out weigh the process.

I hope you didn't get too lost in all the back and forth analogies. It's how my brain is wired. Anyway, I hope this may get things rolling between you and God. Ask Him to show you your issues, confess to the issue He shows you. Humble yourself and ask Him to remove it from you and work with Him to do so. Sounds simple. With some things, yes. With others no. Just depends on how deep the issue is. Trust the process, it'll be worth it in the end.

To God Be The Glory!

Feelings of Worth

Feelings of worth or better put, do I feel worth anything? It's hard when you've been nursing a sprained knee and a pulled back for a week and a half. Laying in bed or sitting on the couch has been my go to since it happened. Rest assured, I have been seeing a chiropractor and it's helped. However, today has been rough. I've felt pretty worthless in the grand scheme of things. I'm supposed to be getting our converted van ready for our big trip in October but with these issues, I physically can't. I can't stand for too long or walk too long either. Stuff around the house is being done by my wife. She's working and doing house work which makes me, again, feel pretty worthless. It has just hit me hard today. 

However, I have to remember one thing. Jesus died for me. He saw value in me. I remember the day when I finally felt the full weight of His love for me. Because, we can read about His love, we can hear about it, but until it is revealed to your heart, you don't fully understand it. Have you ever told someone a joke and they just don't get it. It takes them a minute to realize the joke but when they get it, their face lights up, a huge smile and often laughter follows. You can see it on their faces, they go from a puzzled look to a look of understanding in a split second. 

That's what it's like to be given understanding or revelation in your heart. Before you heard about it but now you truly get it. The experience is followed by, elation, overwhelming happiness and sometimes strong emotions. The day I understood how much God loved me, which happened a decade or more ago, I was driving to work and I was in the car by myself. I liked to pray or talk to God when I drove and it often was questions I had about scripture. I'd mull things over with Him basically. Well, I said out loud, He loves me, more as a reinforcing statement to myself but as I said it, I was completely enveloped with a strange warm feeling. It was like a hug and in my heart for the first time I felt Him say I love you. 

I repeated it over and over, He loves me, and the more I said it the more real it became.

I was quickly overwhelmed and I bawled like a child all the way to work. 

Back then I did feel worthless. I had seasons of depression that seemed to last too long. It was wrong to feel this way and be a Christian, I thought, yet there I was, until that day in the car.

Even today, when I feel useless, worthless, tired, and just plain blah, I think back to that day. You see, I have had childhood issues where I've felt abandoned and unloved. It really affected me up to that point because at that moment in the car, Jesus grabbed me, pulled me into His chest and said I love you! Not only I love you but you are worthy of my love. 

Let all that sink in. Can you honestly tell yourself you feel loved, you know without a shadow of a doubt you're loved by God. If not, pray He reveals it to you.

So, I'm here writing this, feeling two things, love and uselessness.Can they coexist? In a way yes.

I believe we are hard wired for two things, to be loved and to have a purpose. In a nutshell, we all want to be loved by someone and there's a lot of misguided ways to find it. However, love can only come from one source and that's God. I once heard a quote, you can't love others properly because we don't know what love is. We think we know but 99% of us cannot really grasp what pure, unmolested love is. Most of us get or give a form of love that comes with limits. You'll love only so far but as soon as that threshold is reached, no more love.

For example, in marriage, often times the threshold is infidelity. Once someone breaks their vow it's over, love is severed because in that scenario, love was always a tenuous condition equalized by meeting standards of practice between the couple. In other words, you do for me, I do for you. Once one of them stops meeting the others required acts of "love", the balance is upset. You see, most relationship are built on mutual satisfaction. You meet my needs, I'll meet your needs. If one stops meeting the other one's needs then anger fills their heart instead. 

Love, real Godly love, isn't contingent on how someone treats you or how much they reciprocate your love. Real love is never offended, and never ending.

In 1 Corinthians 13 we see that Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, not proud, dishonors no one, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth and it always protects.

I don't think we can live up to these standards but we can receive them. The more we let God love us, the more we understand what love is. We can only give to others what we understand. 

So, now that I've gone off on a rabbit trail, let's get back to the worthiness we discussed. Can we really feel worth anything in the light of His love. Probably not and I think that's the point. His love is so bright, so perfect, He loves us whether or not we are worthy of it. We cannot dilute his love for us by any means. 

That's important for us to understand. No matter our input, His love never waivers. No matter if we feel like garbage or our lives are a complete disasters, it doesn't affect the fact that God loves us. 

Our only task is to come to a complete surrender of that fact. Only by accepting the fact of His unconditional love for you, will you truly find peace. 

Yes peace, the peace that passes all understanding. That peace! Because when you realize and accept His love for you, everyone and everything you've tried to get love from, pails in comparison. The search is over and His love can now flow through you into others.

So, on a bad day like I've had. I just have to remember one thing. He loves me! Simple, yet profoundly transformative. The problem is staying focused. Instead of trying to measure my worthiness by what I can contribute, I need to remember everything I just wrote. Hence the reason I write. To remind myself and maybe help others that read. So I'll sign off like this instead of my normal way so we can all remember. 

He loves you. He loves you. He deeply loves you!

Time to Think

I've had time to think but have I really thought or reflected? If I'm truthful, I'd have to say no. Life has a way of grabbing your attention and keeping it. From daily routines, to event prepping, to pop up issues, it's a daily grind that keeps your mind thinking about everything but what is important. 

So what is important? Nurturing your relationship with God and others. With life getting first dibs for me here lately, I admit, my relationship has suffered. Not in a horrible way but suffered as not moving forward or maintaining. I've revealed a lot of things on these blogs and if you've read any of them, you know I've been on fire and I've been, especially lately, very nonchalant about God. I've been passionate and I've been over it. 

Like all Christians, we go through cycles in our walk. We go from discovery, to elation, to confidence, to trials, defeat, depression, stagnation, then realization and repentance. Then the cycle starts over again, with a vow to never stray again, which sets the stage for failure and ultimately a repeat of the cycle. However, for those in tune enough with God's dealings, you know there's the potential for understanding, revelation and growth from each cycle. As we go through struggles, the chaos of you gets purged out and is replaced by the serenity of His Spirit. If we cycle enough, we eventually leave all of us behind. 

We want results, we don't want the process. Trust me, no one likes the process. The Israelites didn't exactly jump for joy to walk in the wilderness for forty years. Moses didn't even know he was going through the process but God did. Do any of us like being changed in a fashion where it's uncomfortable or uncontrollable? I know I don't but the results are incredible, even though some of us don't realize there are results. That's when humility enters. Like Moses, we've been in the wilderness so long, our go get 'em attitude has been reduced to an I can't attitude. God humbles the proud and lifts the humble. Sound familiar? 

God takes us in an extremely proud state, shows us His Son's sacrifice, humbles us and keeps humbling us to the point where we can no longer stand on our own. If we are lucky, we get pummeled to the point where we are completely convinced we have and are nothing without Him. Moses is our example. Given the opportunity by God to lead His people, Moses shyly declined. He went from, hold my beer, I got this, kind of attitude, to an I cannot attitude. That's what forty years did for him. What's forty for us done?

I'm a 22 year old Christian. Meaning, I surrendered at age 30 to Jesus, making me 52 and I've barely crossed the halfway point of forty and I'm very positive I have more wandering in the wilderness to go through. 

We have an advantage though, we have forerunners like Moses to learn from. 

Back to me, I've been walking in the wilderness for some time now. It's a state of mind where I know I tried too hard to succeed. Just as Moses did. Escaping to my wilderness, I've shut out the possibility of being capable of moving forward. Some call it being stagnant or stuck in a rut. For me it's a problem of feeling incapable of being a good son.

Let me elaborate. My idea of being a good son is this. Being completely surrendered to God in a way where none of my self is visible. Where there's no friction and I flow effortlessly in Him and Him in me. I know it sounds impossible but scripture lays this out. We are to be one with Him as Adam was in the Garden. 

I believe it is attainable and there's the issue. I have become frustrated on how this process comes to fruition. I've swung and missed so many times that I don't even go to bat anymore. Is that the point though? Does God let us try and try and keep trying till we give up, only to then say we are ready. I have to say yes and if that's so, then I'm on the right path.

The path of,  I cannot do this in my power, thought or understanding. We must become stripped of all notions of self confidence. Humility comes when we don't recognize ourselves as humble. We can say that we are confident in God alone but if we know God can work through us, is that humility? Moses was at the point where he thought not even God could work through him. Some say, believe God can and He will. I say get to a point where you doubt God can and then you may be ready to be used by Him. 

We take our confidence and pride and weave it into God's capabilities and call it humility. God is not confused by this like other people can become. He knows our hearts and He knows that more failure, more trials, more personal issues lead to a true humble heart. One that says I can't. 

In reflection of this fact, I'd say I've had my fair share of wandering but has it been enough or is there more to come? Not sure. Guess I'll just trust His process for me.

To God be the Glory