Part 1 was written in early to mid June but was never published as I fully intended to get back to it soon but didn't until now, late July. Lots of things have happened between then and now.
So let's continue shall we. Shortly after writing Part 1, I was fired from my job for no reason. I'm not going to hash out all the gory details as I have moved on from the anger, resentment and all the other unhealthy emotions that come with it. I've never been fired before. I've always prided myself on my work ethics and so this hit hard. Compounding upon all I've been through already, oh and by the way, the plumbers have still not gotten our shower installed. Still on back order they say. So far, 6 weeks have gone by since they did the other plumbing and over two months since this whole issue started. So yeah, over two months of using my son's or my dad's showers.
Anyway, my job. Never having been fired before, I was in uncharted territory. I filed for unemployment, which the last time I did that was more than 30 years ago so the process was a bit different and I began the job search. Through Indeed, Zip recruiter, Google, and others I scoured the internet for a full time photography job. I signed up for some freelance work but those weren't going to pay the bills. Until!
I happened to see a promising job with a company that does school photography for yearbooks and senior photos. I applied and got it two weeks after being unemployed. Which I thought was a good turn around.
After my final interview and before they said yes, my string of bad luck continued. I got Covid again. Although, me being off that week was a plus. So, my interview was on a Friday, I got Covid that day, I felt it coming on during the interview. They contacted me Monday and said I had the job. I did all the onboarding stuff that week while I was sick then the following Monday I left for a training week over four hours away from home. My wife got Covid too, the week I was onboarding and while I was gone.
Needless to say, it has been nuts! This job requires lots of travel so I'm not going to be home as much as I have been which I know will cause more stress in our lives. We've already discussed the inevitable consequences of being apart and we are prepared for those emotions to happen. I trained two weeks ago, today is my first shoot and I'm extremely nervous. Over the weekend we travelled 6.5 hours to Ohio to do something we had scheduled before all this mess happened, which was fun (details later) but we went up Friday and turned around Saturday and came back. Got home at midnight, turned around on Sunday to drive to my first shoot in NC 6.5 hours away.
Had to be there the day before because our morning starts at 6 am at the school for setup. It's all moving too fast.
To recap, remodelling the house, on hold during this transition. Starting back up slowly in between my travel days. Still waiting for a shower to be installed. Career change, creating chaos short term but moving in the right direction as there is potential for advancement with them. Constant travel now has us worried about getting a newer vehicle. Money is tight as this job is less than previous job but this one has better benefits and perks and advancement opportunities.
To say we have been in a season of turmoil and change is an understatement yet through all the issues we've had, our eyes are always looking towards God. I've quit asking Him a long time ago the question "Why". I now trust in the process, even though the process is painful, intrusive, abrasive and not pleasant at all, I trust in His timing and His end goal for us. I can't even inject my wants into the process because my wants may not be good for me. I want to be a photographer and so far so good but He may have a different plan or a better plan. I can only move forward in faith that He has a plan for us. His plan may not be our plan but I guarantee it will be good for us.
See, He wants us changed on the inside and He uses stress and environmental problems to mold us. I've learned long ago to recognize this process and to flow with it instead of resisting it. If my life is in chaos it is because He is molding my heart and I must trust Him in this process. Sure I complain and twitch and scream but through it all, in the back of my head I know it's ultimately good. Look at Moses, it took 40 years for him to become humble enough for God to be able to use him without him saying I can do this myself. Instead Moses was so low he didn't think God could work through him.
Each of us are full of pride and it takes several falls before we become humble enough to fully trust and rely on God. I'm not sure if I'm there yet but I can say I'm better than I was.
Today I turn the big 50! Yes happy birthday to me. I'm away from family and friends and amoung new co-workers and a new job over 6 hours away from home. I've never been a person who wants to celebrate me but I do wish I could be home today.
Lastly, I'm not sure when this molding process we're in is going to let up but I'm hoping the results of it are for His Glory as always.
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