Struggles

This is aptly titled as I have written and erased this post three times. I want these to be less preachy and more personal so I tend to judge each sentence I write. I would actually like for the Spirit to write each one of these but as a Christian in training I sometimes let things block my connection with Him. Too many thoughts or doubts or fears or whatever creep in and take away that sweet connection we need with Him. I think it's doubt more than anything. If you look at who we are compared to, who He is and step back and look at the big picture, it becomes intimidating and overwhelming. I then have to remind myself of one thing, He is in charge of it all, I just need to submit. So, not only do these posts bring me frustration, they also bring me some therapy in the form of reaching out and trying to connect with Him on a daily basis. Which, if you look at my track record has lacked in the past. So, if I'm not helping anyone out there in the world, at least this is therapeutic for me! 

Struggles, besides my current ones, are a huge part of a Christians life. We tend to say, its normal to struggle but in reality it should not be normal. I mean, Paul was in prison singing everyday and happy about the fact he was in a filthy prison that smelled like a week long Summer music festival's porta potty. It was nasty to say the least and he endured with a smile. What is that, it's Christ in you. Our circumstances will not change as long as we live in this world. We will endure climate changes, diseases, famines, poverty and health issues throughout our lives, yet we are supposed to walk through the flames without being burned. Deeper still, our bodies are of no consequence as we are promised a new one at the end of this world. God is now focused on our hearts and not our bodies for change. If we are in a struggle, is it going to affect our hearts? When we lose a job, does it destroy us on the inside? When we lose a loved one, does it affect us so much that our hearts become disconnected from Him? Our struggles are there to test us and prove our hearts. They create situations we cannot handle on purpose. For example, a child can rarely do things correctly on their own when they try to do something for the first time. Can a child pick up a bicycle for the first time, jump on and ride it without help or crashing? No, they are very reliant on the person teaching them until they learn it. Once they know how to do it, they use help less and less. Our struggles are to bring us closer to God for help. When we stop trying so hard to screw it up on our own and give it up to Him, then He steps in and changes our understanding and our heart. Once Christ is established in our hearts fully, we can walk through any issue without it effecting us. 

Christ came into this world to change our hearts, He never once used His power to destroy His struggles. He prayed instead, looking to the Father for guidance and help. He could have asked the rock to turn into bread but He knew that hunger was insignificant to the connection He had with the Father. Can we say that? Can we look inward and say, this struggle I am going through, is it so big that it needs to take precedence over my relationship with the Father. 

Some of us have never had a close relationship to God, a least not enough to be frightened when the thought of losing Him shakes us to the core. I have had several times when God's love has enveloped me like a warm blanket on a cold day. Its a feeling in your heart that is hard to describe but I'll try. I've stood out under the moon one night on my way back from a night of listening, praising and worshiping and felt a shock wave of Love crash into me. We were camping on a large property that had a worship center and cafeteria, cabins, bath houses and other amenities. It was an annual thing we did to hear from traveling ministries from all over the world. They would come and give news of what God had been doing in their lives and what He was doing in their part of the world. Returning after the night service around 11pm I was walking alone and reflecting on some of the things I heard when all of a sudden I raised my hands and started to tell Him thank you. When I did, it felt like I was filled with pure joy. I could not handle the overwhelming feeling so I cried, laughed and just thanked Him. I stood out in that grass and just worshipped because I didn’t know what else to do. It took a long while before I could move from that spot. 

It's intimate times like those that I look back on and tell myself, I could jeopardise this all by letting this struggle ruin what I have in Him. If you've not had a moment that just flabbergasted you into a puddle of crying or laughing goo then I say cry out to Him for one. Ask Him to overwhelm you with His love, to wash over you and fill you with His presence. When you experience Him in such a powerful way, struggling with worldly issues become insignificant in your eyes. Trust me, you'll seek Him more and never want to lose that connection ever again. If Paul sang in prison, if the apostles died over it, if constant persecution never changed it, if Christ willingly went to be tortured then hung on a cross to keep the relationship they had with God then our meager struggles shouldn't draw us away.

Draw closer and the struggles become nothing. Draw closer and you'll never want to let go no matter how dark the world gets. Draw closer and you will shine and the world will see.

To God be the Glory Always!