Where to start this journey so that you, my reader can get something out of this? As a normal guy with no ties to anything popular or anything viral, I started this journey to express my thoughts and ideas of what it's like to walk with Jesus as my Savior, Friend and Companion. I often feel that being a Christian in the world today can bring some pretty negative input from both the religious and non-religious population. So that said, anything on this Blog will be my personal experiences and my own viewpoints. In no way am I trying to make you walk a certain way but my goal is to open up minds so they can think for themselves.
I started my journey with God when I was a teenager. I had a "come to the altar moment" that, at the time, was completely lost to me. It was an impressionable time and basically I followed everything the pastor told me, word for word. Yea, he's saved from the clutches of hell. No...not really! Later on after living an unGodly life to the ripe age of 30, His calling on me was unavoidable. It was in the pew of a church we had been attending where the battle for my life was lost. My wife wanted us to be Baptized, so, the preacher wanted to announce the happy news to the entire congregation, that next week this great couple was going to get dunked. The only problem was, I lied about being saved. When the preacher asked me if I was, I fell back on that moment when I was walked down the isle and told to repeat after me. However, not knowing in my heart what was going on, I believe I did not get saved that day. So, there I was sitting in the pew of this church about to get up and announce our Baptism for the following week. To say I was a total wreck was an understatement. I was sweating, my mind was in lock down mode and I made up my mind at the last minute, that I couldn't go through with it.
Now, if you are Baptist, you know that in an altar call, the entire congregation are sometimes told to bow their heads and close their eyes. It helps with anonymity when they're asked to raise their hand if they need prayer or if they need to come to the altar. So, while everyone isn't looking, we were supposed to come to the front, so when the altar call was done, they would announce us. So, just before the preacher said bow your head, I leaned over to my wife and whispered, "I can't do this." She asked, "Why" and I just said, "I can't." "Please bow your head," echoed in my ears as the entire congregation did as asked. My heart was pounding out of my chest as God was pressing in. My wife left my side and walked up front on her own. The preacher, sensing an issue, lengthened the call and to me it felt like minutes, in reality it was probably seconds. The battle raged in my heart as I felt as though I was standing on the edge of a massive cliff. In my mind, I didn't know if I was going to be caught if I jumped off that cliff. I had issues! So, as each second ticked away like they were an hour, I had a choice to make. Follow Christ or hold on to my life and keep living in guilt and condemnation. This is what I said to God in my heart, "If you want me so badly, then here I am. Take me." It wasn't a long drawn out speech or eloquent prayer, it was as if I was asked to do a trust fall off a roof into a sheet held by 6 people 15ft below. When I said, "Fine, I give up," I fell off that precipice into open air and for a few moments as I fell, I was worried how it would end.
I said yes to Christ's sacrifice in that pew that day and before the altar call was done, I walked up beside my wife just in time to stand together as a couple. You see, Christ waits patiently for us to make the choice. It's not forced, it's not done out of guilt, it's done out of Love. You see, when we are covered in darkness and Love is something foreign to you, you run from it. It looks like a threat when you've never experienced it before. You come up with all kinds of excuses to avoid it. Mine was loss of control. I felt that if I said yes, I would lose control of my life. My fear was that I would have to change to be someone I couldn't be. The cool thing is, you don't have to change, it just happens. Plenty of people think they need to qualify for salvation instead and bring something to the bargaining table with God. Because we live in a society that doesn't give anything for free, we feel that we must bring God something in exchange for salvation. The problem is, nothing we can give is good enough to qualify. So, most hesitate, like I did, and that mindset keeps them from His Love. More on this later...
So, the following week I was Baptized and the rest is history. Now, I'm an 18 year old in Christ and I have had some pretty tough days. I've also had some wonderful moments of peace, clarity and the presence of the Holy Spirit in these 18 years. So, why a blog? If I can help one person out there with a struggle they are having or help one person to open their heart up to God, then it has been worth it. I don't even know if this is going to be read but like falling into the hands of God, it's a leap of faith. I look at it this way. If something resonates with you, then awesome, if not just go about your life like you never read this.
I pray everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. To God be the Glory!
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