For Though Are With Me

 

Bald River Falls Near Tellico Plains TN off the Cherohala Skyway

I fell asleep on the couch tonight, yet again, and woke up around 1am with those words echoing in my mind; "For I am with you," Words taken from Psalm 23:4. However, how many days or times we think, He is against us or far from us. Our minds are programmed from childhood by our parents that disappointment, regret, errors and mistakes cause separation in relationships. Do we see our parents fight and make up or do we see fights, anger, a build up of regrets and bitterness? We see the later mostly. I grew up in a toxic house where bitterness and hate between my parents was an everyday thing. Divorce came and bitterness ruled the two throughout their lives. Instead of working through problems, they dismissed and avoided the root causes and let the issues be unresolved. 

That's why me and my wife turned the corner in our marriage around the ten year mark to fight through the difficulties and find resolution to our issues between each other. The same goes with God, however with Him, He forgives immediately and forgets forever. He looks at us as white as snow and clear of all issues. We however, continue to rehash our issues within ourselves and we never resolve our problems with ourselves.

I firmly believe, if we get real with ourselves, admit our issues and work through them, we would be a better people. Instead, we never ask, what can I do to improve. It's as though most people think, "this is how I am and there's no changing it." I've heard that before but I am proof of change. My marriage is proof of change. Not compromise where we tip toe around each other but true and real understanding of each other and we made every effort to change for one another. How often do we just throw our hands up and say, I am who I am and if you don't like it you can either get over it or leave. We have that mind set of rigidity and stubbornness. We deflect our faults and issues away from us and on to others or blame our surrounding environment or past wrongs done against us. 

Self evaluation in the presence of God is painful and eye opening for the one doing it. Spiritually, coming to God and asking Him to reveal your faults is like being cut open to reveal your insides. It's painful and necessary. However, if we let the great surgeon do His cutting, to get rid of the cancerous growths in us, He will put us back together clean and whole again. 

Men especially have this major issue of self reflection. We tend to crawl into our holes and seal the door behind so no one can see our emotional issues. Why would we? We are supposed to be the head of the house, the rocks, the fortresses. We are supposed to be the person others come to when they are weak not the other way around. So firstly, for guys, we have to get over the macho persona and begin to look inward at our faults.

I had to do this very thing when we counselled ourselves. I had to dredge up root causes for my behavior and deal with the pain of weakness. I had to tell myself I was a piece of crap. By the way, we are all pieces of crap. No one is good and for those that think they are, lie to their selves. That's of course our condition pre-Christ. We are junk, full of problems, daddy issues, mommy issues, trust issues and the list can go on forever. My point however is we are full of issues and that creates our anger, our bitterness, our personality, no matter how toxic it is. Coming to Christ for Him to release us of that stuff is overwhelmingly painful. Our lives, our problems, our roots are shown to us and we must either deal with them or suppress them and never change.

Change comes from dealing with our problems but to deal with our problems we must first see them and admit we have them. Denying we have issues never resolves anything. Like I said before, I had to see myself as a piece of crap, garbage and low. If we roll in the mud and get disgustingly filthy and never wash, how would we look. If we continue to roll in the mud and not shower, the build-up of mud and dirt and filth would build up. Over time the build up becomes so heavy, it weighs us down to the point of no return. 

For He is with me, encourages me. It's like someone rooting for your victory. He's your cheerleader, your coach, your running partner who's right there to help. We can't realize our filth until He points it out. Once He reveals our filth, He gently washes us to remove it but we must be willing to be washed. Sore and infections are cleansed and healed and we are returned to new. Take the imagery of the leper, who is full of sores and rotting flesh. Unable to make contact with others, lepers are shunned and sent away from society. They were sent into colonies to die. However, Jesus healed them. It's a perfect visual representation of our hearts. 

For He is with us! Once we receive the revelation of our filth, we must let Him cleanse us of it. You can be told your filthy and you can let that understanding cause you to spiral into a pit of despair and self hate. The enemy says, "yes you are a disgusting creature and you're not worthy to be fooled with, let alone be forgiven and cleansed." Once revelation hits us that we are dirty, another revelation must take hold and that is, God loves us and He wants us. No matter how dirty we are, He reaches out His hand of love and says, let me wash you clean. For the leper, he's been told not to touch anyone his whole life, yet it takes trust in Christ for Him to touch you and heal you. Don't draw away but draw closer. The closer you get, the cleaner you become.

So, my whole goal for this entry is this. Know that He is for you, not against you. If you feel unworthy, lay in His lap and let Him hold you. If you feel dirty, admit you're dirty and move closer to Him so He can wash you. If you feel alone and lost, know He is walking right next to you. 

Thank Him, Praise Him and Most of all, trust Him. For He is for us and not against us. He leads us and guides us. For He is with us! Go through the process of self awareness, revelation of the filth, confession of it, and the willingness to be washed of it. It is a painful but necessary process in our walk with Him.

To God be the Glory!

   

 

Let the Blind See

Taken at the Morton Overlook in the Smoky Mountain National Park

 

I've waken up at 3:30am again. Not sure if it's a consistent bladder thing or God wanting time together. I'd like to say God wants some quality time but I usually hear very little from Him. Recently, I've been wondering about the end of all this; the second coming of Christ. I have reservations about the process or the popular rapture theory as I've written before. As I have been watching "The Chosen" series, Season 5 especially, which leads up to the Garden of Gethsemane, it makes me think of how set we are, like they were, in tradition. I mean, they were so set on tradition they had a man who performed multiple public signs and wonders right in front of them yet they denied who He was and crucified Him. To be honest, I don't get that. Did God blind them or were they so blind already with how they thought the Messiah would be, when He showed up and didn't fit their mold, they killed Him.

It makes me think of our situation today. Who has ever been to a church that is so steeped in tradition that if Jesus walked through their door, they'd not recognize Him? I have and it is scary how we cling to tradition and preconceived notions of how things are going to unfold. Most Baptist churches subscribe to the rapture theory. If Jesus Himself walked into one of them and said you've got it all wrong, they'd run Him out just like they did in His home town of Nazareth and if stoning was a thing, well they'd do that too. 

Religion is powerful and full of human nature! It's the human nature Jesus died to get rid of so we could obtain His nature, yet we cling onto our ideas, our comfort, our way of thinking so much, there's no room for Him and His nature. Therefore, I'm very worried about the end. Am I steeped in "Me" or have I let the Holy Spirit rewrite my way of thinking. If I say, like many would, I love the Lord, I read the Bible, I know scripture, I do many good things and I stand on those things as foundational, I could miss something. When you think you know something definitively, you close yourself up for further understanding. You basically set yourself up to fail. 

I could think, I have faith in Jesus and that will do, or I could say daily prayer keeps me close to Him I am in no need of anything else, again we limit ourselves. I want to say one thing, I don't know it all and I need more. Yet the opposite is true as well, you can spend your whole life seeking, thinking you are missing something, and miss the blessings you already have. If I say I need more and Jesus says I am enough, then why are we searching for more. So I stand in the middle, wanting more of Him yet appreciative of what I have already. Is this the way?

Middle of the road, or the narrow way is the life Jesus spoke of. We are people of extremes. We're like a pendulum, swinging from one extreme to another and never settling for a middle position. We either see in color or black and white, nothing in between. Because of this, I think most will miss Him. Relationship is all about meeting in the middle, finding common ground and building upon it. We could still be under the law right now and we'd still be sacrificing animals to atone for our sins, however, because God saw another way, a better way, He sent His Son to abolish that old system and to establish something new, faith. He met us in the middle. He knew sin was never going to leave us fully, He knew we could never get back to how we were before the Fall, so He met us in the middle and came down to us. We couldn't go up so He came down so we could have access. 

It's early and I may just be rambling this time but I have a genuine concern for all of us, that we don't get it. Change came and it was denied. Change is coming once again and I hope for our sakes we don't deny it again. We're so entrenched in this world we don't see or understand anything about the Kingdom. The church was meant to bring the kingdom to Earth. We were meant to be the light of the world and be Jesus. Instead we eat and drink of the ways of the world instead. It's a tragedy indeed. My heart aches for those that don't see. It aches for me, do I see. I'm not sure but I see enough to know, when He comes back, He won't be happy. 

When a child is told to pick up his room and an hour later you check and a bigger mess is there, how happy are you with them. Not very. So too is our situation. We were told to clean up a mess, not make a bigger one. Religion divides, relationship brings together. Party lines divide, no lines, no division. We divide amongst ourselves, we categorize, we organize, we partition each other until there's no one standing together. Jesus talks about a lion and a lamb laying together, that is unity. When a Jew and a Muslim and a Catholic and a Protestant can love one another, then we have unity. When we no longer see lines we win. When we no longer hate one another for differences, we win. When there are no differences, we win. Love is the way. Can we drop our divisions and our wars and our separation. We'll have to in order for His Kingdom to come. Can we though?

It starts with one person. Me, you, it starts with us. We no longer need to see others as enemies but as loved ones. Our eyes must be opened to see how Jesus saw us. He never saw a prostitute or a tax collector or a sinner, He saw a child of God. He looked past the labels and saw what they are, His. We are all children of God, equal and same. From the murderer to the mom we are all His. If we could only drop the veil of division and see with the eyes of Christ, we'd be in a better place. 

Drop anything that divides and hold onto Him who brings together all in love. I think the hippies had it right, it's all about Love!

Lord, let me see others with your eyes. Let me see myself with your eyes as well as I continually judge and divide myself into good and bad. Let me see me as you see me so I can go out and see others that way too. Let your love spread through me and out to others Lord. Amen

To God be the Glory!